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BECAUSE OF THE LABOR DAY HOLIDAY, PLEASE NOTE THERE WILL BE NO FIRST MONDAY MEETING IN SEPTEMBER.


AUGUST 2015 MESSAGE FROM MARY
“PICTURING GRIEF”

Death by homicide is considered one of the most painful ways to lose a loved one. Grief after a homicide is always complex. Survivors don’t just get over it. What we can hope for co-victims of homicide is that with support and understanding they can come to reconcile themselves to its reality according to Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Reading other sources on grief after a homicide, all point to the same thing. Nothing in life can prepare co-victims of homicide for the reality that their loved one has died a violent death. Picturing grief can help because it lets us know why we feel as we do and it gives us something tangible.

One can look to experts on all phases of grief. But the grief we suffer from homicide as well as losing a loved one suicide is truly like no other. Losing a son to homicide and then losing a brother to suicide has given me an insight that only those, like yourselves, who have suffered this type of loss can truly understand. Yet, we must never underestimate the understanding that we can get from those who work for and want to help co-victims of both of these traumas. It takes knowing how it feels and people who care to get us through this unthinkable loss.

I would like to thank “Grief Courageous” A Workbook” for the information on “Picturing Grief”. The following are examples of ways we can “get a handle on an emotion that is so powerful that it puts us to our knees”:

PICTURING GRIEF

Grief is like a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes, it just might feel like we have a handle on it. Then something happens and it all falls apart again. We try to start putting the pieces together again. It doesn’t work!

Grief lasts for years and then with support and understanding it gets softer. It is a life process that we can get through with help from those who care and being with those who understand. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and not know where to begin. From all of this our values, priorities, and outlook will change radically. It is no wonder that we feel as we do.

We have all heard people talk about hearing songs on “having a broken heart”. This is true about grief, especially complex grief. Grief is a broken heart. With love and support we can mend it. But, the scars will always remain. It is with these scars though that we can get through it. The scars are the reminders of how much we loved our loved ones who were taken from us in a violent manner. Our “broken heart” needs to be attended to so that it will heal. Rest, attention, and time all will help in our healing process. But, we must remember that any type of healing is a slow process. Traumatic grief is compounded.

Grief can be seen as waves pounding on the seashore. In the beginning, the waves come in. They pile upon the shore as if they are angry and confused. Our grief is the same. It can make us feel that it cannot be overcome. Our grief, like the waves, can knock us down. Sometimes we can see the waves coming and at other times, they are like a sneak wave. Triggers are set off as birthdays approach or the day our loved one was murdered approaches. But, like fighting waves, we can brace ourselves. Many times, the anticipation is worse than the reality of the actual wave. We see this when families are waiting for trials and hearings. It is the waiting and thinking of what is going to happen that is worse than what actually does happen.

Grief can be also like a maze. There are so many wrong turns. What is the right road to take? Who is the best person to follow? Sometimes we just must follow our hearts and then keep looking. Each of us will find that some turns may be the wrong turns. Trial and error is another way to learn even though it can be painful. We also learn by mistakes. It is more important to get to a “new normal”. It is worse to just stay in the same place. Grief can be confusing and make us feel lost and alone.

Grief can be also like a stream. As we cross the stream, we go to the other side by crossing stepping stones. Sometimes we are afraid that we might fall in and get carried away. But, what is most important is that we keep on trying. We pay tribute to our loved ones when we keep trying. We pay tribute because we can take them with us when we keep trying. We take them with us when we remember them. As long as we remember, they are right beside us. This is what is so wonderful about our POMC Memorial Wall. They are not forgotten. Our POMC National Day of Remembrance is a reminder for everyone who loses a loved one and validates that we have not forgotten them.

Grief is not an illness. It is not a sign of weakness or a problem to be solved even though it might feel like one. People might think that “we are sick or have a problem”. But, there is no “quick fix” for grief.

There is also no “easy cure”. Alcohol, drugs, food, sex, or work will not be helpful when we want to use them as solutions for grief. We do not move forward when we deny or avoid the pain of grief work.

Grief can be a transition. Though it is a long, slow, time-consuming, painful healing process, it can be a journey toward human wholeness. Using “picturing grief” can be your map toward getting to a “new normal”.

OTHER WAYS OF HELPING

Other things that might help are to write down your thoughts and feelings. Keep a journal, write a poem or letter to your loved one. Find a safe place to release your anger. You can also get support by seeking grief counseling with a professional or a support group. Finding friends or family members who will listen and not judge are other ways to get you through this journey to a “new normal”.

Most important, grieve in your own way, at your own pace. Not all those affected by homicide are the same or react in the same way. What we hope for all co-victims is that they will find comfort and support from family and friends. We hope that the justice system will be there for them and that their case will be solved. We want their loved ones to be remembered. That is what we are all about. This is why we have support groups for those whose loved ones have been murdered. Each of us can be there to help one another.

This is also a great time to remind all of our families and friends of our “National Day of Remembrance” held at Mountain View Cemetery, 500 Hilda Street, Oregon City, OR, 97045. It is the home of our Oregon and Washington Memorial Garden. The celebration will held on September 25. 2015 at 1:00 p.m. It is open to the public and all those who wish to remember those who are victims of homicide. We will have a ceremony, music, reading of our loved ones names and a free barbeque. We hope you can all attend so that others will remember. It is the hope of POMC that this day also is a reminder that we must remain vigilant in having ways to protect society from those who murder. We need laws that are enforced and jails and prisons to hold murderers from murdering again.

All my love and support, Mary Elledge


THANK YOU “SURVIVORS” EDITORIAL TEAM!!!

The Greater Portland Area Chapter would like to thank the “Survivors Editorial Team” for putting the following article in the “Survivors”, our POMC national newsletter. We were all honored when we saw it and are proud to share it with our members:

POMC NOW ENTERED IN THE FREE ENCYCLOPEDIA, “WIKIPEDIA”
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
The Parents OF Murdered Children Memorial, sometimes abbreviated as the “POMC Memorial, is a memorial for all murder victims, located at Mountain View Cemetery in Oregon City, in the United States. The memorial was dedicated in September 2013, becoming the first of its kind in the Pacific Northwest and the eighth in the United States.

DESCRIPTION
The memorial located in the northwest corner of Mountain View Cemetery in Oregon City has been described as a “beautiful place for anyone who has lost a loved one or child due to homicide”. It features an Oregon/Washington Memorial Wall, a lighted curved wall that encompasses benches, freestanding Basalt columns, a spirit-shaped stone walkway and a waterfall over more stonework. It cost $400,000 in cash and in-kind donations. The memorial was the first of its kind in the Pacific Northwest and the eighth in the United States at the time of its September 2013 dedication.


THE GREATER PORTLAND CHAPTER IS GETTING READY TO HOST NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

Three more months! The Greater Portland Chapter is getting ready to hold our annual “National Day of Remembrance”, September 25, 2015. We are looking forward to another great program and attendance. We will be celebrating our 7th “National Day of Remembrance” and hope to have another wonderful day to honor our loved ones. We are grateful to those who have helped build our memorial, but unfortunately homicide never ends. We are fund raising to build another wall. We would appreciate members to help in any way possible. Many companies have offered matching donations or will donate based on volunteer hours. This could include anything that you might want to do.

Our POMC Memorial Wall is the eighth in the nation and the only “POMC Memorial Wall” in the Northwest. It is an Oregon/Washington Memorial. For those who are waiting to have their names engraved on the wall, we will have them displayed on a printed paper that looks like granite until we can add the names to our new wall. Please check the spelling of your loved ones’ names on the “FUNDING FOR THE NEW MEMORIAL WALL IS READY TO GO” on the inside of the last page of the newsletter.

We are thrilled that so many people visit our memorial daily. It opens from dawn to dusk every day. Running water flows down a column of stones that represents millions of tears that families and friends shed from the murder of their loved ones. The sayings and verses engraved on the walls are constant reminders of our love and the magic of “Giving Sorrow Words”.

The event starts at 1:00 p.m. A free BBQ after the memorial gives our members and guests a time to visit and reflect.

PLEASE HELP WITH DONATIONS

We would appreciate any help with the expenses of hosting this event and we will appreciate any donation of food or flowers. Many of our members travel a great distance to get there. The public is invited. It is a wonderful chance to let the public know that our loved ones will be missed forever. We hope we can use this day as a chance to let everyone know the horror of homicide. We need more rights for victims of crimes. Homicide takes the joy from so many lives.


REMEMBER SEPTEMBER 25, 2015 AT MT. VIEW CEMETERY NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBERANCE FOR MURDER VICTIMS

“For survivors of homicide victims, having their loved ones remembered is vital. Though survivors may individually and formally remember them on their own anniversary dates or other special occasions, it was felt that it would be appropriate and beneficial for all survivors to have a special day to remember together.” according to the National POMC office. As a longtime POMC member, I could not agree more.

POMC founders, Robert and Charlotte Hullinger and the POMC National Board of Trustees approved an annual “POMC National Day of ‘Remembrance for Murder Victims” in April of 1999. The anniversary date of Lisa Hullinger’s, the founders’ daughter, death was chosen for the annual day of remembrance.

In October 2007. The U.S. Senate unanimously passed Senator John Cornyn’s bipartisan resolution, S Res 223 to establish September 25th as a “National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims”. The measure was co-sponsored by Senators Jon Kyle and Dianne Feinstein.

POMC Chapters have been celebrating the “National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims” since 1999. The first official “National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims” was celebrated on September 25, 2007. Other co-victims of homicide support groups and victim assistance have also joined together to support victims of homicide. We at the Greater Portland Area Chapter have been celebrating since it was first designated in 1999.

On September 25, 2009, we celebrated for the first time at the site of our current POMC Memorial Wall in Oregon City at Mountain View Cemetery. This year, we will host another celebration on September 25, 2015. We are again having speakers, music, presentation of colors, a memorial tribute and the reading of victims’ names. Lunch will be provided.

We are so honored to have had Washington State join us in our endeavor to build our wall and to share our site. In 2013, we celebrated the completion of our Memorial Wall. We now have the only memorial wall in the Northwest for homicide victims. Our loved ones’ names inscribed on granite will be a tribute to their lives and the fact that we will not forget. We have 500 names listed on our wall. We are also in the process of fundraising to build an additional wall since our first wall is filled.

Murder cannot be resolved! Part of our mission statement of Parents of Murdered Children is to provide support and assistance to all survivors and to help educate the public on the aftermath of homicide. In doing this, we hope to reduce the murder rate.

By calling on all people to remember, we show we will never forget our loved ones. Since the start of Parent of Murdered Children in 1978, in Cincinnati, Ohio, there have been over 600,000 homicide in the United States. There are 3,000 people murdered every 10 weeks in our country. The number doubles if vehicular homicide is included. Victims of crime need equal rights in the courtroom. They deserve to be respected, offered support, and given justice. Homicide cannot ever be made right. As a nation, we must not forget the grief that family and friends suffer when a loved one is murdered. One of my favorite quotes is “If we forget, it will happen again.” It was written and spoken by Simon Wiesenthal, a Holocaust survivor. Again, we are so happy to remind you that we will have a free barbeque after our program. It is held at our memorial site, 500 Hilda Street, Oregon City, OR, 9704, and starts at 1:00 p. m

Everyone is invited to our “National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims on September 25th, 2014. We encourage all victim assistance people, district attorneys, politicians, and all people working in the justice system to join us as we all remember. The general public is also invited to attend.


CHINESE CHEF KENT HONG IS COOKING FOR POMC FUNDRAISER
TO BE HELD ON OCTOBER 17, 2015

The Greater Portland Area Chapter is proud to announce that Kent Hong will be the chef for the “Chinese Dinner Fund Raiser” for the “New POMC Memorial Wall”. It will be held on Saturday, October 17, 2015. The location is at the American Legion Hall, Post 1 at 1830 S.E. 122nd, Portland, OR.

Prices for the tickets are $10.00 for adults and a special discount for children. You can preorder tickets by mailing to: POMC, Mary Elledge, 14427 S. Forsythe Road, Oregon City, OR 97045. You can also buy tickets at our meetings, from Bob Pfeifer. Bob, our Italian Chef, is going to be helping Kent and working on collecting items to be sold at the auction and raffle that evening. There will be an open bar for those who want to buy drinks.

Chef Hong puts on an outstanding dinner and we hope to have a big turnout. The public is invited as well. This would be a great time to treat family and friends for a night of fun and support for our “New Memorial Wall”. We are halfway toward our memorial wall fundraising and appreciate all the help we can get. We are not able to add additional names from members until we get our new wall.

During the dinner, we will be having a silent auction and drawings going on from our ticket sales. We hope to get more great items as we did for our “Spaghetti Dinner Fund Raiser” held earlier this year.

We also would greatly appreciate any items donated for our fundraiser. We can use any type of resort rental, get-a-way items, services, gifts, custom made items, art work, jewelry, dinners, or items in good shape that you no longer need or use. You can bring items to the POMC meetings or before the dinner at the American Legion Hall. All of the proceeds go the building of our memorial wall. We appreciate any help we can get to make this a success.

Thank you so much.


THE GREATER PORTLAND CHAPTER WOULD LIKE TO ASK AGAIN FOR MEMBERS TO COMMENT ON THE McCANN FAMILY’S UNSOLVED CASE PRINTED IN APRIL’S NEWSLETTER

With their deepest gratitude, Mary Jane and Dan McCann would like to thank all of the Greater Portland Area Chapter members who read and responded to the “The Color of Puke”, an online account of the story leading to the murder of their daughter, Annie McCann. The story can be found at htts://medium.com/@maryjaneanddanmccann/the-color-of-puke-4284f44330d5.

The McCann family is going ahead to let it be known to the public that they are asking the Baltimore City Police Department to reopen their case. The have enlisted the help of Dr. Harry Bonnell, M.D. to respond to their medical report. Dr. Bonnell does the second opinion for the National Office of Parents of Murdered Children. His expertise is valuable to POMC members. He also volunteers his services when giving a “Second Opinion.”

The following is an opinion from Dr. Bonnell and it will give a better understanding to those who have read the online article written by the McCanns:

“Based on my training in medicine and forensic pathology, and on my review of the information provided to me and presuming that the toxicology results are accurate, it is my professional opinion that the toxicology results are accurate, it is my opinion that:

Again, we would like to thank Dr. Bonnell for reading and responding the McCann’s case. He is truly a hero to POMC members. Again, we would like to thank all of our members who have read the story and responded. We must stick together to continue to balance our justice system.

If you would like to have your thoughts on the case printed in our newsletter, please go to the back page to contact me or e-mail it to: elledge1@gmail.com. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.


THOUGHTS AND LETTERS FROM MEMBERS

It is an honor to share thoughts and stories from members. I never stop learning and I hope others will share with us as well. I would like to thank Linda Blake and Yvonne David for their articles:

PTSD

From Linda Blake: Mary, I’d be happy to have this in the newsletter. Anything that helps. One thing I thought of is “Through Field Tapping”, which you had in a newsletter (EMDR, eye movement). I have 2 websites I like. Magnus Tapping (for depression) and Dr. Ng. who does a power routine. Both are similar and the light finger tapping plus the eye movement STOPPED the brain Chatter. I was able to focus and read novels again, after almost 9 years of inability to concentrate. Please tell people to NEVER give up hope to get better. It’s been a long journey, and certainly not an easy one. However, today I can even talk about Melody without crying. It DOES get better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6133V2EcVIY This is Magnus, and excellent! Note that it can only help, as there are no negative aspects. The process accesses right and left brain. Clearing the obsessive or negative thoughts and feelings. Freedom!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkU1uY75U2Q Dr. Ng does a slightly different sequence and she is equally good.

THREE WAVES FOR HEALING

From Yvonne David: I have a counselor that explained to me 3 waves we can be on during the time of grieving, “a high wave”, “a low wave” and “a sneaker”.

A “high wave” is when you are having a bad day. You cry, you are depressed, just can’t function. This wave can control you. It has to gradually come down to a low wave and roll onto the shore. This “high wave” can beat us as it does to a ship being tossed back and forth. In Mark 4:36-39 a storm arose and the disciples were afraid. They cried out to Jesus to save them for they thought they would perish. Jesus rebuked the wind and said unto the sea. “Peace be still”. The wind ceased and there was great calm. This is what we need to do when a “high wave” comes upon us. Ask God to still our wave.

A “low wave” is when you are having a good day. You are happy and thing are going smooth. But then WHAM—a “sneaker wave” hits you! A memory of some kind pops up unexpectedly and triggers the grieving: a date, birthday, phone call, a location you pass by etc… A “sneaker wave” can knock us off our feet. We have to get up and continue going forward. Get on that calm peaceful wave. We all want to be on the “calm wave”, but there will be days when a “sneaker” or a “high wave” will hit us.

I have shared these 3 different waves to my friends, (real simple like) so that they may help me. I can call on them when a wave hits me. Our friends always ask us, “How are you doing, or how are you today?” It is such an open question. How do you answer them? Well since they know about the waves, they can now ask, “How are your waves this week or what wave are you on today?” I encourage you to share with your friends about these waves and have peace throughout your day.


Upcoming Events

29th ANNUAL PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN NATIONAL CONFERENCE

Date: July 30-August 2, 2015
Place: J.W. Marriot Las Vegas Resort and Spa, Las, Vegas NV 89145
The hotel is $99.00 a night for Conference Attendees. Download Conference Brochure and Registration at National Website: www.pomc.com


KATIE ROHAUER AND ROBIN HUTCHINGS BRING GIFTS TO GIVE OUT AT THE NATIONAL CONFERENCE.

POMC members were given an added treat at the March monthly POMC meeting. Long- time members, Katie Rohauer from Sisters and Robin Hutchings from Bend attended the meeting bringing beautiful handmade angels to give out at the POMC 2015 National Conference to be held in Las Vegas on July 30 to August 2. It will be held at the J.W. Marriott Las Vegas Resort and Spa. Members attending were excited to see both ladies and also were thrilled that they were making enough angels so that everyone who attends the conference will get one.

Though the ladies had not attended meetings for years because of the distance, it was as if we had never been apart. Co-victims of homicide seem to form a bond that is “never ending”. The Portland Chapter is sponsoring the Friday evening memorial event in Las Vegas. All chapters are able to reserve tables for the dinner before the memorial so our chapter will have enough tables so that all of us can sit together.

We are asking all Oregon and Washington members to please let us know if you plan on attending. We would like to include all members in presenting the memorial program. It will also be special because we will all be together. It is a great opportunity for all of us to meet more of our POMC family.

The conference committee is working hard to make this 2015 conference a place that fits the needs and supports all who attend. It should be a positive experience for all. Look for you there!


THE GREATER PORTLAND IS NOW PLANNING ITS SEPTEMBER 25. 2015 NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

t is nearing that time again! We will be celebrating our 7th National Day of Remembrance at Mt. View Cemetery on Friday, September, 2014. We are all grateful to those who have helped build our memorial and now to build another wall when we have enough funds. Our POMC Oregon and Washington Memorial Wall is the eighth in the nation and the only POMC Memorial Wall in the Northwest. We built it to represent and honor both Oregon and Washington victims of homicide. It
validates that we are not alone in our grief.

Our service in September will be a meaningful tribute to our loved ones. Each name will be read aloud and is a time to celebrate their lives and is a reminder that they will never be forgotten. Simon Wiesenthal, a Holocaust survivor, said, “If we forget, it will happen again.” We will never let that happen. Their names are engraved in granite for eternity.

For those who are waiting to have their names engraved on the wall, we will have them displayed on a laminated granite- type heavy paper that we will display by the wall.

Nearly 30,000 people are murdered every year in the United Sates including those killed by a drunk or drugged driver. Our hope is that our walls will remind society and our leaders to remain vigilant, protecting society and enforcing laws to keep criminals that pose a threat to the public incarcerated.

We are thrilled that so many people visit our memorial daily. It is open from dawn to dusk daily. Running water flows down a column of stones that represent s millions of tears that families and friends shed from the murder of their loved ones. The sayings and verses engraved one the walls are constant reminders of our love and the magic of “Giving Sorrow Words”,

The event will start at 1:00 pm. A barbeque after the memorial will give our members and guests a time to visit and reflect.

We would appreciate any help with the expenses of hosting this event and will use donations for food or flowers. Many of our members travel a great distance to attend, and of course, everyone is invited. It is the largest affair we put on.

BEGINNING AND ENDING WRITINGS FOR POMC BY CARRIE FREITAG

Although the struggle with grief is part of every death, murder is darker than death, and so is the road to surviving and healing in the aftermath. Murder devours innocent lives with a cruelty that is absent of reason, absent of values, and absent of compassion. Murder breaks all sacred rules, knows no fairness, and can never be undone or compensated. It provokes fear and rage, and tempts us to battle it on its terms instead of ours. Murder drives even the most loving and compassionate people to the edge of that fine line that separates our respect for life from our violent potentials. The aftermath of murder takes us straight through hell where we stand eye-to eye with the evil that hides behind human faces, and what we do in the face of that evil defines what lies behind our own face. The aftermath of murder is nothing less than a full-blown emotional and spiritual struggle.

Ending

Do not let murder stop you from being everything that you are and everything you were meant to be. Your loved one’s murder will test everything in you—your love, your strength, your faith, your values, your peace, and your beliefs. May this test become testimony to all that is good in you, all that is good in the world, and all that is good in the heavens.


FUNDING FOR THE NEW MEMORIAL WALL IS NOW IN FULL FORCE

Funding for our new POMC Oregon/Washington Wall officially began this January, 2015. Members and friends of our chapter have been generous with donations and we are so thankful. Many of our new members are waiting for their loved ones names to be put on our new wall. We are listing new names that will be engraved when the wall is completed. We ask that members will call us, e-mail, or mail the information if you do not see your loved ones name on the list. The phone number is 503-656-8039, the e-mail is: elledge1@gmail.com or POMC, 14427 S. Forsythe Road.

We are designing the wall now and hoping to build a wall that will accommodate more names than the existing wall. We want to list all of our loved ones

If any of our members work at a company or know of anyone who would like to make a donation please let us know or it is fine for you to ask for a donation yourself. We are a non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible. Please use the phone contact numbers from the first paragraph of this article. Thank you so much for your support.

LIST OF NAMES TO BE ENGRAVED ON THE NEW MEMORIAL WALL UPON COMPLETION

Benjamin Redmond
Lori Lynn David Rothrock
Victor “Todd Howell
Paul W. Miller
Marcos J. Castillo
Craig C. Moritz Jr.
Glen Edward Drysda
Jeffery Towers
Dustin Finney
Christopher Lewis Chandler
Nicolette Naomi Elias
Carol Lynne Keightley
London McCabe
Kathleen Lois Bauman
Julio Cesar Marquev
Jayme Sue Austin
Lynette Jarvis
Coulton McComb-Buehler
Jessica Lynn Clark
Rebekah “Becky” Selegue Johnson

(Please contact us if your loved one’s name does not appear on this paper and you would like to have it added. A form will be added to our newsletter each month to be used for adding names for the wall when it is completed. Please check the spelling of your loved one’s name and let us know if it is wrong. You can e-mail us at elledge1@gmail.com, call 505-656-8039, or mail us at POMC, 14427 S. Forsythe Rd., Oregon City, OR 97045.)

MEMORIAL DONATIONS FOR NEW WALL

KATHY L.
RICK V.
LARRY AND SHERYL M.
LOIS H.
STANDARD INSURANCE COMPANY (THROUGH THE EFFORTS OF SHIRLENE GUTHRIE)
GWEN J K.    
PHOEBE EMILY K.
CATHY L.
LAVERNE AND SOLOMON T.
DEBORA LEOPOLD H.


BETH GREEAR PUTS SUPPORT GROUP FOR POMC MEMBERS ON FACEBOOK

The Greater Portland Chapter is proud to announce that Beth Greear has created a facebook support group for POMC members. To reach it use: www.facebook.com/groups/POMC.Portlalnd. Vancouver/ Beth said that there are several “admins” of the page so she is sure it will be very beneficial to anyone who would like to use it.

We cannot thank her enough for the chance to have even more support for our members. Beth is an outstanding person who is always there to reach out to help others. She even brought a delicious dessert for our December holiday meeting. We will be writing more on this next month and giving the names of other members who are helping with this project.


THE GREATER PORTLAND CHAPTER WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A STORY: NATIONAL CRIME VICTIMS’ RIGHTS WEEK IS THE APPROPIATE TIME.

There could not be a better time to share the story of beautiful Annie McCann. Annie is the daughter of Mary Jane and Dan McCann. You will also find a letter in this newsletter that was written to State Attorney Marilyn Mosby about getting help for the McCann family.

Mary Jane and Dan have written an article so that you can read the entire account, “The Color of Puke”, on line. It is a compelling story that we hope you will read:

What do parents do when their child’s apparent murder goes unexplored? That’s what POMC members Mary Jane and Dan McCann are struggling with. They’ve written of their cruel ordeal. Here is an excerpt:

“Annie died under the most sinister of circumstances. She was seen by two extraordinarily reliable eyewitnesses as lively, animated, and unbruised at a pastry shop in Baltimore’s Little Italy. A few short hours later, a few blocks away, she was found soaking wet, without shoes , with blunt force trauma to both sides of her forehead, with a vicious bruise on her backside and a bloody bra, poisoned with a massively lethal amount of lidocaine in her engorged stomach, stuffed behind a dumpster by thugs, who If they didn’t kill her themselves, were likely paid to dump her.

The best objective guess on how Annie died? It tracks pretty closely to FBI Deputy Assistant and Director Campbell’s testimony to Congress. She was lured under false pretenses from her sheltered suburban home by human traffickers, and murdered with a lethal dose of lidocaine, probably in an alcoholic drink, when she resisted the unfolding plan. That is informed by speculation, based on the facts we’ve learned; in honesty and accuracy, it is light-years beyond the impossible theory, that Annie killed herself.

What’s really needed is a vigorous and open-mined police investigation. That’s all we’ve ever asked for. It’s never been done.”

You can read the entire account, “The Color of Puke” online.

https://medium.com/@maryjaneanddanmccann/the-color-of-puke-4284f44330d5

During this year’s commemoration of National Crime Victims’ Week, can we engage our POMC community to help the McCanns gain justice for their daughter?


PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN
AND OTHER SURVIVORS OF HOMICIDE

Greater Portland Area Chapter
14427 S. Forsythe Road
Oregon City, OR 97045
Fax (503) 656-4420
Eledge1@gmail.com
(503) 656-8039

February 4. 2015

Dear State’s Attorney, Marlyn Mosby:

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mary Elledge and I am Chapter Leader and President of the Greater Portland Area Chapter OF Parents Of Murdered Children In Portland, Oregon. I am writing this letter for the parents of Annie McCann, Dan and Mary Jane McCann. Annie was murdered on November 2, 2008 in Baltimore. The crime has still not been solved. The family lives in unremitting grief and the pain of there being no justice for their daughter, Annie.

Annie’s parents are two of the finest people I have met who have lost a child to homicide in the twenty-eight years I have been working with co-victims of homicide. My heart aches at the way their case has been handled and the intense grief that has compounded because of the indifference they have faced in the nearly seven years since Annie’s murder. I implore you to please look into this case to see if it can be an actively investigated cold case.

Though we live miles apart, there is no Parents Of Murdered Children And Other Survivors Of Homicide (POMC) group in Virginia. I was fortunate to meet Mary Jane McCann from a National Conference held in Minnesota in 2014. Her story is so compelling. She has since been a member of our Portland POMC Chapter. When they hear of anyone needing any assistance or support in our chapter, they are the first to offer help in anyway. If nothing else, they offer their sympathy and prayers. We are all part of the National Office of POMC in Cincinnati, Ohio with over 100,000 members.

The family began their trauma when sixteen year old Annie was found dead dumped or placed beside a dumpster. Her car had been stolen by Paul Lee, Darnell Kinlaw, Bryant Williams, Wayne Trusdale, and Tevin Williams (phonetic spelling). A young man placed at the scene of the crime was later arrested for the murder of another young woman but, he was never questioned about Annie’ murder.

Annie organs were lost by the Medical Examiner in the case, including her heart and brain. The McCann family buried their daughter without them because they were not told they had not been returned. On the death report, the police wrote that Annie died of lidocaine poisoning as a bottle of Bactine was found near her body. The police said that they called the makers of Bactine whom said that there was enough lidocaine in a bottle of Bactine to kill Annie. Bayer told the McCann family that there was not enough lidocaine in one bottle to poison anyone. Witnesses who saw Anne eight hours before her murder said that she did not have bruising on her face. Eight hours later, she was found dead, reportedly soaking wet, with a lethal amount of an obscure poison in her engorged stomach, with ante-mortem wounds to both sides of her forehead and a vicious wound to her backside. If the testimony from a top expert in forensic pathology, Dr. Michael Baden, had not been dismissed, the police would have known the lethality of Bactine. One bottle should not have poisoned her. Other experts felt that it would be impossible to swallow a large enough amount of lidocaine because of the taste.

In closing, Anne deserves justice. There is no way that she killed herself. It would be impossible for her to cause the injuries on her own body or even drink the amount of Bactine it would take to cause her death. Why would she ever want to be found by a dumpster? Also, the young men who took her car were very capable of killing a young girl. One of them even did after her murder. She also would not have loaned her parent’s car.

Finally, Anne was never given an exam to see if she had been raped. Why? Finding a young girl with signs of abuse would surely warrant an exam.

On behalf of our POMC Chapter, I again implore you to please look into the case of Annie Malinchak-McCann. Her family is devastated. Two crimes have been committed against their beloved daughter, murder and no justice. When there is no justice, our loved ones’ lives are devalued.

Thank you so much for your time. We appreciate your help and support for the McCann family. Please let us know what else we can do.

Sincerely,
Mary Elledge, Chapter Leader/President


A CHANCE TO LEARN FROM OTHERS

POMC CHAPTERS CAN JOIN TOGETHER
TO MAKE THE 2015 CONFERENCE A GREAT SUCCESS

The Greater Portland Area Chapter would like to challenge all of the POMC Chapters to see who can get the most members to attend the 2015 POMC National Conference in Las Vegas on July 30 to August 2, 2015. National Office is offering a $150.00 gift certificate to the chapter who has the most members in attendance. This will be a perfect time for all POMC members to be able to attend because flights are less expensive flying to Las Vegas than only one other destination in the United States.

We will be staying at the JW Marriott Las Vegas Resort and Spa. The resort has given us a special price of $99.00 per night. The rooms are deluxe with wonderful views and tech amenities. There is only a $25.00 fee each way to the airport. If you are planning to attend, we recommend that you make reservations. The numbers at the hotel are 877-622-3140 or 800-582-2996. Please ask for group reservations for Parents Of Murdered Children. This is important because in order to get the special price for your room, you must mention POMC. If you put your reservation on your credit card, you have 24 hours before your room is available to cancel and get your deposit refunded. There will be only so many rooms available.

Registrations are $240.00 which includes meals. There will be a hospitality room and workshops that will provide outstanding presenters to provide the latest in help and information for professional and co-victims of homicide. There also will be speakers and entertainment.

Chapters will be able to reserve tables for meals so it will also be a wonderful time for the larger chapters to see members they might not have seen for years. It is an opportunity to be with people who understand and a chance to learn what other states and the justice system are doing for co-victims of homicide.

The Marriott is off the strip so it will be a peaceful place to also relax. There are shuttles for those who will like to go the Los Vegas Strip, malls, museums, Hoover Dam, and many other attractions. Of course, shopping is readily available. Your conference can also be a vacation time. We are given the special room price, $99.00, for three days before and three days after the conference.

The conference committee is working hard to make this 2015 conference a place that fits the needs and supports all who attend. It should be a positive experience for all. Look for you there…

Mary Elledge, Chapter Leader
Greater Portland Area Chapter


POMC CHAPTERS CAN JOIN TOGETHER TO MAKE THE 2015 CONFERENCE A GREAT SUCCESS

The Greater Portland Area Chapter would like to challenge all of the POMC Chapters to see who can get the most members to attend the 2015 POMC National Conference in Las Vegas on July 30 to August 2. National Office is offering a $150.00 gift certificate to the chapter who has the most members in attendance. With the conference in Las Vegas, flights are less expensive than most other destinations.

We will be staying at the JW Marriott Las Vegas Resort and Spa. The resort has given us a special price of $99.00 per night. The rooms are deluxe with wonderful views and tech amenities. There is only a $25.00 fee each way to the airport. If you are planning to attend, we recommend that you make reservations. The number at the hotel is 702-869-777. Please ask for group reservations for Parents Of Murdered Children. This is important because in order to get the special price for your room, you must mention POMC. If you put your reservation on your credit card, you have 24 hours before your room is available to cancel and get your deposit refunded. There will be only so many rooms available.

Registrations are $240.00 which includes meals. There will be a hospitality room and workshops that will provide outstanding presenters to provide the latest in help and information for professional and co-victims of homicide. There also will be speakers and entertainment.

Chapters will be able to reserve tables for meals so it will also be a wonderful time for the larger chapters to see members they might not have seen for years. It is an opportunity to be with people who understand and a chance to learn what other states and the justice system are doing for co-victims of homicide.

The Marriott is off the strip so it will be a peaceful place to also relax. There are shuttles for those who will like to go the Los Vegas Strip, malls, museums, Hoover Dam, and many other attractions. Of course, shopping is readily available. Your conference can also be a vacation time. We are given the special room price for three days before and three days after the conference.

The conference committee is working hard to make this 2015 conference a place that fits the needs and supports all who attend. It should be a positive experience for all. Look for you there……..

The Greater Portland Area Chapter is sponsoring the Memorial Night on Friday. We are hoping to do this as a team and make it a night for all to remember. We look forward for any help from members in the Portland Chapter who are planning to attend. It will be so good for all of us to be together. It is also a chance for Oregon and Washington members to meet their fellow Oregon and Washington POMC members besides all of the other chapter members. I personally have never met such wonderful members in my entire life.


THE FAMILY OF SHELLEY DAWN
ELKINS HELPS KEEP MURDERER IN PRISON

Shelley Dawn Elkins, born on May 31, 1968, was a beautiful twenty year old woman who had loving parents, Nina and Don Elkins, and a devoted loving sister, Sharon Christensen. Shelley was engaged and was living in own home with her fiancé when she was murdered on May 31, 1989.

Dail Ryan Yates waited for her fiancé, his cousin, to go to work early in the morning when he decided to murder Shelley. He strangled her. He showed no remorse. In fact, six months earlier he shot and killed a man in Estacada, Oregon. He was charged with the man’s murder and kept in jail until his trial. Unfortunately, he was found not guilty. He had claimed self-defense. It was less than a month later, that he murdered Shelley. For a family, it is unbearable to think that if justice had been handed out their daughter might not have been murdered.

After the murder of Shelley, Yates was found guilty and given life with the minimum of 25 years. On February 18, 2014, he was given a parole exit hearing. He had served his twenty-five years.

Shelley’s sister, Sharon, spent hours contacting people to write letters against Dail’s release and working with Victims Specialist Attorney Rosemary Brewer to get information and evidence that Dail Yates was a risk to society if he were let out. Ms. Brewer is an excellent attorney who is well prepared to assist victims trying to keep a murderer behind bars when they are likely to commit a crime again. Again, Mr. Yates was not sorry he murdered Shelley.

The Parole Board listened to both sides and ruled that Dail Ryan Yates should serve four more years. Many letters against his release were mailed in and eleven people were there to support Shelley’s memory. Ms. Brewer proved he was a risk. Shelley’s sister Sharon spoke as well.

As a chapter, we are proud of the Elkins family and all of those who helped keep a murderer in prison longer to protect society. We also offer the Elkins’ family our deepest sympathy and support. Your daughter Shelley would be proud. Your actions are protecting society. Shelley is and will always be remembered. We would also like to thank Rosemary Brewer for an excellent job as well as the Board of Parole and Debbie Wojciechowski, Victim Specialist . Debbie is excellent in helping co-victims of homicide go through the painful experience of revisiting the murder of their loved one.

Mary Elledge


LIVING WITHOUT JUSTICE

Unsolved Homicides ~ A CoVictims’ Worst Nightmare

The murder of a loved one is the most horrific thing a person can experience.  The only thing that can make it worse is a substandard initial investigation or not seeing justice in your case.  Timely collection of evidence followed by an arrest and conviction would provide a degree of comfort, but what happens to co-victims when a thorough investigation is not done, and there is no arrest?  Many of the victims' friends and acquaintances will gradually let go of their grief over time, but the closest of friends and family will remain in a state of sorrow, haunted by the injustice of investigators that may not have conformed to rules or standard operating procedures during their initial investigation.  Not only is there no relief, but the agony of the event changes their lives forever, and becomes part of their very being.  Co-victims' everyday battle becomes their effort to get a thorough investigation.

Helplessness is a gut-wrenching emotion which plagues co-victims who are not allowed to assist with the investigation and are longing for justice.  We don't want to let our loved one down; we are compelled to fight for justice no matter how long it takes.  As the process drags on, frustration grows.  Many times, due to confidentiality, important conversations between co-victims and law enforcement are avoided, and this lack of communication can cause co-victims to feel neglected and disrespected, which often manifests itself in frustration, anger, and a loss of confidence in the investigators. Regular contact and truthfulness are two of the most important things survivors need from law enforcement. We need investigators to focus on routine communication of as much information as possible with sensitivity and without being misleading. Survivors’ perception that information is not being shared with them can result in them feeling they have been secondarily victimized. As the years pass, co-victims start wondering if their unsolved homicide could be reviewed by a fresh set of eyes, and they often look into getting their case to a cold case unit, only to find out that some jurisdictions don't even have a cold case unit.   If there is a cold case unit in their jurisdiction, cases are evaluated and chosen according to a set of criteria.  Co-victims whose cases seem to be continuously passed over for review become dismayed and even angry toward law enforcement. Anger can mobilize psychological resources for corrective action, but uncontrolled anger can negatively affect personal or social well-being. 

Co-victims who put forth the effort to examine and understand the cold case process and various factors which must be dealt with during cold case investigations are able to put the process into perspective.  They must understand that cold cases are among the most difficult and frustrating cases for both co-victims and law enforcement, and not every case is chosen to be investigated.  It helps to review the following criteria checklist used by the National Sheriff’s Association, Justice Solutions and POMC: 

Complete an application for cold case review. This application includes detailed information regarding agency reports, victimology, suspects/persons of interest, timeline, coroner, lab reports, investigation documents, weapon descriptions and media releases.  

Co-victims should also be aware that closing rates can be more successful if investigators work only one or two cases at a time.  At this point, if we find out that our case doesn’t qualify for review by a cold case unit, our only hope is that a thorough re-investigation will be done by homicide investigators. 

If you have comments or questions about this article, please email: pat.kuiper@yahoo.com or call Pat Kuiper at 702-809-8654 to get your loved ones' name listed in our newsletter.  Feel free to contact Pat if you would like to share your story. 

UNSOLVED CASES

Lucy Eilertson (1998)
Diana Moffitt (1987)
Donald James Brown (2007)
Kimberly Larson Reames (1983)
William (Bill) Mark Stratton (2005)


SIBLING SITE IS LAUNCHED

The Greater Portland Chapter is so proud of our member, Amanda Harris, for launching her official site for siblings. Amanda is offering the Website: www.unitingsiblings.com so that sibling co-victims of homicide have a place to go where they will be understood and supported. This site will include video, chat, and telephone conference via a secure and private interface. Amanda is paying for the expenses and will be delighted to be another support for sibling co-victims. Amanda can also be reached at: Amanda@unitingsiblings.com or 623-866-3189.

Amanda Harris is now ready to start her web site for siblings. The Portland Chapter is excited about the support and understanding this new group will be for the many often overlooked survivors.


NATIONAL POMC SURVIVORS NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION FORM

Please find, enclosed, $10.00 for my annual subscription (three issues) for the Survivors Newsletter.
(Please consider adding an extra subscription fee to help defray the cost for someone who cannot afford it.)

NAME: _____________________________________________________________________________

ADDRESS: __________________________________________________________________________

CITY, STATE, ZIP____________________________________________________________________

MAIL TO: POMC, INC. ENCLOSED IS MY: CHECK _________________

100 E. EIGHTH STREET, B-41 MONEY ORDER__________

CINCINATTI, OH 54202

Download form here


PERMISSION FOR ENGRAVING OF NAMES FOR POMC’S OREGON/WASHINGTON MEMORIAL WALL

PRINTED NAME OF LOVED ONE_________________________________________ (This will be engraved on the wall)

LOVED ONE’S BIRTHDATE____________________________ DEATH DATE____________________________

MEMBER/FRIEND’S NAME AND ADDRESS ____________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

MEMBER/FRIEND’S PHONE NUMBER_____________________________ Do you want a Newsletter? Yes No

SIGNATURE FOR PERMISSION TO
ENGRAVE NAME AND SPELLING APPROVAL_________________________________________________________

Please submit one form for each loved one. Please make efforts with other family members/friends to ensure multiple requests are not received for the same name. When completed, please mail, fax, or e-mail to the following places: POMC, Mary Elledge, 14427 S. Forsythe Road, Oregon City, OR 97045 or fax 503-656-4420, or e-mail: elledge1@email.com. If you have any questions, please call 503-656-8039.

Download form here


Oregon-Washington Public Memorial Garden
Remembering Those We Have Lost to Murder
CONTRIBUTION OR PLEDGE FORM

Please Complete and Return to Memorial Garden,
POMC 14427 S. Forsythe Rd Oregon City, OR 97045

100% of Contributions are Tax Deductible

Name:____________________________________________ phone: __________________________

Address:_____________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

E-MAIL: ___________________________________________________

Options :

Gift in Memory of: __________________________________________________________

Anonymous gift (will not be recognized at the Memorial Garden or in published materials)

Method of Payment:

Check Enclosed

Credit Card #_________________________________________Exp Date:___________

Name on Card _________________________________________________________________

Signature _____________________________________________________________________

Pledged Payment (to be completed by December 31, 2014)
Please add notes on payment timing _________________________________________

Thank you for helping to create the Oregon-Washington Public Memorial Garden. Your generosity will never be forgotten.

Download form here


JUST FOR FUN PRODUCTIONS

Turning pictures and home movies into a unique video you will treasure for a lifetime.

Tina Tanner 541-510-3075
Tana Tanner 541-935-2023

PO Box 343, Elmira, OR 97437
Cricket221967@yahoo.com

(Tana Tanner is a member of POMC. Prices are very reasonable for POMC members.)


More than Just a Name: Placing a Face on Grief

We would like to get to know your loved one and gain and understanding of their lives, achievements, accomplishments, goals, and personalities. We’d like to celebrate the LIFE of our loved ones rather than remain in the pain of their death. If you would like to share a unique story about your loved one, please submit a short (1 page) letter telling us about them. Some possible ideas to include are:

    Their favorite food, movie, book, and why
    Their most successful accomplishment
    A funny childhood story/experience
    Their most exciting vacation
    A unique talent
    Their most prized possession
    Their favorite school subject or teacher
    Their educational/professional goals
    A personal goal they planned to fulfill
    An obstacle they overcame
    A school play they may have performed in
    Their favorite season/holiday

Please include your contact information as well as their full name and birth date. Thank you.

Please also include a picture of your loved one, if possible. Please keep in mind that we cannot guarantee that your photograph will be returned to you.

Please mail submissions to:
Portland Area Chapter
Parents Of Murdered Children
And Other Survivors Of Homicide Victims
14427 S. Forsythe Road
Oregon City, OR 97045


Tacoma Violent Crime Victim Services Welcomes Homicide Survivors

Peer Support Group Meeting

If someone you love has been the victim of a homicide, we invite you to attend our monthly support group meeting. You will find acceptance, compassion and support.

Place: United Way Building
3rd FLOOR CONFERENCE ROOM

Date: 3rd Wednesday of Each Month!
Time: 7:30PM – 10:00PM

The United Way Building is located in Tacoma, at 1501 Pacific Avenue. This is the same building that the VCVS office is located in. It is next to Union Station on the north side. As you pass Union Station you will see the United Way Building. Parking is on the south side of the building. Please park your vehicle in an open space and enter the building’s front entrance and take the elevator to the third floor. The conference room is Suite 312. Please call Lew Cox for more information (253) 383-5254.


Court Watch

POMC'S Court Watch Program is designed to help families maneuver through the court system. Two of the most important aspects of Court Watch are the prevention of any re-victimization to family members, and the minimizing of the emotional pain of going through hearings and trials.

If you would like support from POMC during hearings and trials or want to offer assistance, call Pat Elmore at 503-312-5681 or Allen Tremain at 503-522- 0577.


Important Notice Concerning The Newsletter:

Each month a number of newsletters are returned due to delivery problems. In addition to the initial postage, return postage is charged by the Postal Service. To minimize this expense, please write to the return address of the newsletter or contact Erin at Hondaerin2@aol.com if your address changes or you no longer wish to receive this publication.